Haldo again, I have about half an hour of spare time so we'll see how far I can get with this. I took my Chinese midterm today and did an awesome job. What I'm thinkin' about right now is that I'm in a cocoon. What I mean is I'm changing, I know I'm changing. I read what I wrote in my journal two months ago, look at the the state of mind I captured in writing, and then I compare it to what I wrote yesterday. The two are vastly different and the gap continues to widen. I say cocoon because I'm the only one who can notice and feel what's happening to me. Anyone who reads this (as I assume everyone is across an ocean somewhere) only remembers the catapillar (or weedhopper) that went away.
That's not to say that when I return I'll be some "beautiful butterfly". I might be some moth creature or some kind of stinging insect, you might not like me or you''ll wonder why I act a certain way that's different from how I acted before, I can't really imagine it right now, but the possibility exists. I wonder if you understand what I'm trying to say.
Whatever I am when I come back, I want you all to know that I've questioned it, put it through its paces, let it feel lonely, compared it with my surrounds and perception of the world, and finally decided it was me.
(note to dadmom: got my ballot day of election, read that it had to be postmarked by the day before, realized that it probably took more than a week to get here and would take the same amount of time to get back, decided to keep it as a souvenir of a historic election. Looks like Obama had it without my vote though. I'm really kind of sad i didn't get to to excercise my rights, but there will be other "historic elections" in the future. It's funny to me that the Taiwanese were really into watching the United States Presidential Election.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment